The Space Between Read online

“No. But I don’t have to see him all the time.”

  Eric and Maddie walked into the living room. She picked up a book she’d left on the couch.

  Eric walked down the hallway. He didn’t think about his uncle Max much. Max lived in New York. He was gay. Max had been married to his husband for a few years.

  Eric didn’t really know his uncle. He’d only met him a couple of times. His dad never spoke about him.

  He went into his room and grabbed his backpack. What was with people like Max and Dan? He didn’t get it. And he didn’t want to. There were a million reasons why. Did this make him a bad person? Maybe.

  CHAPTER 12

  Double-Booked

  Eric went to the backyard. The Bonum family had just walked into the house. Eric’s mom had convinced his dad. It was just this once, she’d promised. The meal was a go.

  “It’s not like a disease,” she’d said. “Dan can’t infect people. He can’t make people be like him.”

  Eric heard his parents greet the Bonums. His dad didn’t sound angry. Maddie and his mom sounded excited.

  Eric’s plan was to stay in the backyard. He had purposely double-booked. Michelle was on her way over. They were going to the movies.

  Eric was curious, though. He watched Dan’s family through the window. The curtains were closed. Nobody could see him peeking through a small opening.

  Dan looked like his mom. They had the same eyes. Danielle used to style her hair the same way as her mom.

  Dan laughed as he talked to Maddie. Maddie laughed too.

  Eric felt weird. Had he kissed a boy? Made out with a boy? He would kill himself if anybody ever found out. Maybe Dan had forgotten about it. The transition had wiped his memory. Deep down, Eric knew that was impossible.

  He turned away from the window. There was nowhere to hide. The yard was small. He could go to the side yard. Or hang out in the garage. Too bad he hadn’t unlocked the side door. There was no way into the garage from the back otherwise.

  “What’s up? Are you hiding?”

  It was Dan.

  “No!” Eric snapped. “Why should I hide? It’s my house.”

  “Liar.” Dan was a few feet away. He was holding a soda can. “I found another MMA place,” he said. He took a sip of his drink. “It’s in Dekker. I may compete in the county tournament too.”

  Dekker? Eric hated that place. It was where Michelle had met that other guy. She’d been going behind his back.

  “Cool,” he said. But he didn’t think it was cool. Dan was trying to invade his world. Why didn’t he just go away?

  “I wish I could find a boxing gym,” Dan said. “I’d much rather box. I have more training. MMA is fun, though. I’ve won a few trophies.”

  “Yeah.” Eric hoped Dan would get the hint. His answers were short. Maybe his old friend would leave him alone.

  “When I first moved away, I tried to find a boxing gym,” Dan said. “There weren’t any. So I did MMA. The coach liked me ’cause I’m quick on my feet. It’s from boxing with my dad. None of the other guys were fast. They just had ground games. Coach said I moved like Sugar Ray Leonard or Floyd Mayweather. He said if I got a ground game, I’d be really good.”

  “Did you?” Eric asked, surprising himself. “Get a ground game?”

  “Yeah,” Dan said matter-of-factly. “I guess.”

  So, Dan thought he was good at MMA. Was he better than Eric? He took out his phone. No messages.

  “Look,” Dan finally said. “Are you going to be like everybody else? Are you going to be another friend who goes away?” He moved closer. “I thought you were different. But you’re not. You’re scared.”

  Dan moved even closer.

  “Dude,” Eric said. “Get out of my face.”

  “Why?” Dan raised his arms. He pushed Eric.

  Eric took him to the ground. He didn’t even realize it. But to his surprise, Dan moved really well. But not well enough. He was able to apply a chokehold. Then he stopped. This wasn’t part of his MMA creed. Honesty. Integrity. Intensity.

  Sensei Chen hadn’t trained him to be mean. And this was Danielle. Only it wasn’t.

  Suddenly the screen door to the backyard opened.

  CHAPTER 13

  Intrusion

  Eric and Dan stood up. Michelle walked out. She was dateready in a denim skirt and tight tank top. Smokin’ hot came to Eric’s mind. To him, Michelle was a woman. She was the kind of woman he wanted. The kind of woman he wanted Danielle to be.

  “Were you guys wrestling?” Michelle laughed.

  “Yeah,” Dan said, smiling. “Eric was showing me some moves.”

  “He does love to show off his moves,” Michelle teased. Then she laughed.

  Eric smiled awkwardly. Then he had a terrible thought. Could Michelle be attracted to Dan? Did Dan like girls? Did he like boys? He didn’t want to think about it. Everything was wrong.

  “Eric …” Michelle tugged at his arm. “Are you going to introduce me?”

  “This is Dani—Dan,” he said. “We kind of grew up together.”

  “Oh, really?”

  “I’ve seen you around school,” Dan said.

  “You go to Starling?” She was surprised. “I’ve never seen you.”

  “I just started.”

  “Well, welcome to Deermont,” she said. “It’s kind of boring here.”

  “Tell me about it.” Dan laughed.

  “Hey,” Eric said. “We’d better go. The movie starts soon.”

  “You’re leaving?” Dan asked.

  “Yeah. We’re going to see Dr. Strange.” Eric led Michelle out of the backyard.

  Michelle turned. “You want to come?” she asked.

  Dan eyed her. Eric was startled and upset. He wanted to scream. Why wouldn’t Dan disappear? Why did Michelle want him around? Dan was messing with him.

  “Nah,” Dan said. “I’m going to hang out here. Then go out with some friends later.”

  “Cool,” Eric said.

  “Have fun,” Michelle said, smiling.

  Eric and Michelle walked through the house. They talked to his parents and Dan’s parents. Soon they were on their way.

  The movie was playing. Michelle texted. Eric tried to concentrate. He knew the story of Dr. Strange. The doctor became a sorcerer.

  Eric wished he were a sorcerer. He’d make Dan go away. Magic would be useful in his MMA matches too. He’d be unstoppable.

  His mind wandered. He couldn’t follow the movie. Michelle kept texting someone. Who? He wanted to ask her. But he didn’t want to seem jealous. Or weak.

  Also, he couldn’t stop thinking about Dan. Did Michelle like Dan? No. She was just being nice.

  What the heck had happened in the backyard? He had wrestled with Dan. Dan had been underneath him. Gross.

  But he’d been on top of Danielle. She’d liked it when he kissed her that way. Danielle would wrap her arms around him. She would hold him close. He did the same to her.

  It still felt the same. She still felt the same—even though she was gone. There was still that closeness. There was no denying it. Dan’s body felt like a girl’s body.

  Eric wanted Dan to be like Michelle. He wanted Danielle back.

  Michelle put her phone away. Eric put his arm around her. She looked at him and gave him a peck on the lips. He moved in. They started to kiss.

  Michelle was a good kisser. But Danielle was better. “We can do this later.” Michelle smiled as she pulled away. “Watch the movie.”

  Eric wanted to tell her she should do the same. A few minutes later her phone buzzed. Then she was texting again.

  CHAPTER 14

  No voice in the Crowd

  Dude,” Liam said. “That guy is such a fag.” It was lunchtime. Eric was with Lance and Liam. They were people watching at the campus plaza.

  Students were hanging around. Some were texting. Others were talking. A few couples were all over each other.

  One of the school clubs was having a contest. Whoever won score
d some Twinkies.

  The three boys weren’t paying attention. They were fixated on a student. Nobody knew his name. The student wore short shorts and a tight T-shirt. His hair was in a ponytail. He wore makeup. For sure he was a boy. But he dressed like a girl.

  “He’s not bad-looking,” Lance said.

  “What are you, high? He’s a freak!” Liam said.

  Lance and Liam cracked up. Just then, Melissa Taylor walked past them. She wore a black T-shirt and black yoga pants. Her hair was short.

  “Melissa Taylor is a dime, dude,” Liam said. “You should hit that, Eric. She told Alexis she thought you were cute.”

  “That would bother Michelle,” Eric said.

  “Michelle?” Lance asked. “Why are you wasting your time with her?”

  “This one’s on fire, bro,” Liam said.

  “Uh-huh,” Eric said. “I’m good. Don’t worry.” The guys stared at him.

  “You’re hitting that, aren’t you?” Lance said.

  Eric smiled sheepishly. He and Michelle hadn’t had sex. Eric wanted to. He figured they would eventually.

  “Dude!” Liam grabbed Eric by the shoulders. “You are! That’s so rad!”

  “You should dump her now,” Lance said. “After what she did with that Dekker dude.”

  Eric didn’t know what to say. He didn’t tell the guys he’d had sex with Michelle. They assumed it. Eric liked them thinking he’d done it.

  Dan walked out into the middle of the plaza. He wore skinny jeans and the black denim jacket. His backpack hung over one shoulder.

  “I heard that dude is really a girl,” Lance said.

  Eric’s heart sank.

  “He looks like a girl,” Liam stated.

  Lance and Liam cracked up again. Eric frowned.

  “That guy sucks,” Liam said. “I hate weak-ass dudes.”

  “It’s not a dude, dude,” Lance said. “She’s becoming a guy or something.”

  “Whatever it is—when did they let all these weirdoes into school?”

  Lance and Liam continued to talk. They’d called Dan a freak.

  “She should just be what she is,” Liam said. “Who knows? Maybe I’d give her a chance.”

  Lance and Liam laughed even harder.

  Eric didn’t say a word. He didn’t stand up for Dan. Why should he? But he felt bad because he’d cared for Danielle.

  What about now? He didn’t owe Dan a damn thing.

  CHAPTER 15

  Not Letting Go

  Eric was jogging on the sidewalk. He wore long black shorts and a white T-shirt. Sweat dripped down his face. He wiped it away.

  Someone else was running too. They were moving fast. Eric couldn’t hear where they were coming from. He hadn’t seen anybody else outside.

  Then Dan appeared on his left-hand side. He wore gray sweatpants and a black T-shirt. The clothes hung loosely off his body.

  Eric thought Dan looked girlie. He probably knew it too. Maybe he didn’t mind. If only Dan’s hair were longer.

  “Why don’t we just run track?” Dan asked. They were both breathing heavily. “It’d be easier. Nobody would be trying to choke us out.”

  Dan looked at Eric. He smiled slyly. In that moment, he looked so much like the girl he used to be. Eric couldn’t help but smile back.

  Then they cracked up.

  “Are you going to the Steel County tournament?” Eric asked.

  “Yeah,” Dan said. “I don’t have anything better to do.”

  “That’s lame,” he said. “Don’t you have better things to do? You should do it because you love MMA. Or because you like competing. That’s why my MMA center has a creed.”

  “We tried that, remember?” Dan said. “You didn’t want me there.”

  “I never said that.”

  “I’m confused. You did want me there?”

  Eric eyed Dan. He didn’t know what to say. He stopped running. Dan did the same. They took a moment to catch their breath.

  “Want to train together?” Dan asked.

  “What? You mean for the tournament?”

  “Yeah,” he said. “We could help each other out. Make each other better.”

  “I already train a lot. At the center—”

  “Okay,” Dan said. “Whatever. I’m just glad you’re talking to me. Not acting all weird.”

  “You act weird.” The words were out. He couldn’t stop them. What was Dan doing? He didn’t understand the transition. But he didn’t mean to sound insulting.

  “You’re just now figuring it out? Duh! Yes, I am weird.” Dan laughed.

  Despite himself, Eric smiled. Danielle could always make him smile.

  The more they talked, the more relaxed he was. He wasn’t really ever relaxed with Lance and Liam. With them, everything seemed like a competition. They were crude. Who had done what with girl #1? Who had a shot with girl #2?

  Eric didn’t feel comfortable with Michelle either. Even before she’d cheated on him. He always felt on edge with her. It was like she needed to be impressed. All. The. Time.

  “I knew you’d be really good at MMA,” Dan said. “You were always good at everything.”

  Eric didn’t know about that. He struggled in math. Soccer was a difficult sport. Somehow Danielle always made him feel good. She knew the right thing to say.

  Now it was Dan talking. Eric still felt the same way.

  “You seem like you know how to roll,” Eric said. “You moved pretty good in my backyard.”

  “I do,” Dan said. “But boxing is so much better.”

  Eric had a thought as they talked. Maybe Dan wasn’t so bad. He didn’t think they’d be great friends. But perhaps they could be something.

  CHAPTER 16

  Paper Confrontation

  Eric was striking a heavy bag. His eyes were wide as he hit it. Precision was key. His fists were barely touching it.

  “Speed and accuracy,” Sensei Chen always said. “That wins you matches. Master that and everything else falls into place.”

  Chen MMA was packed. But Eric was laser-focused. After a few strikes, he would kick the heavy bag. Those blows were lower. The training goal was to hit an opponent’s legs.

  “The county list is up!” Greg yelled.

  Eric hadn’t noticed the list on the wall. Students ran over to it.

  The list was for the county tournament. It showed first-round matches from all the cities. Winners faced other winners. Competitors had to win two matches to get into the finals. If you won the final, you won your weight class.

  There were eight weight classes. Flyweight (120–125 lbs.). Bantamweight (125–135 lbs.). Featherweight (135–145 lbs.). Lightweight (145–155 lbs.). Welterweight (155– 170 lbs.). Middleweight (170–185 lbs.). Light Heavyweight (185–205 lbs.). Heavyweight (205–265 lbs.).

  Eric was a bantamweight. He wanted to go up to featherweight someday.

  He continued to hit the bag. Some students were stoked. Others were bummed. A few were truly upset. They weren’t on the list. That meant they weren’t in the tournament.

  Eric knew he would be fighting. He didn’t care who he would face. Winning every match was his goal. He threw a volley of punches. Bam. Bam. Bam.

  Finally he walked over to the list.

  He recognized some names. Eric had seen those fighters compete before. He knew he could beat them.

  As he looked at the list, he sucked in air. He let his breath out slowly. What? He looked again.

  It was Dan Bonum.

  Danielle.

  They were fighting in the same weight class. Thank goodness they weren’t fighting each other. They had to win twice. But if they did, the two would face-off.

  Eric was in a daze. Dan had to lose. No way could Eric fight him. He would kill him. Everybody would see him do it.

  This was not cool. Why couldn’t Dan be in another sport?

  Eric was angry all over again. He’d just started to feel less uncomfortable with Dan.

  He walked back over to the h
eavy bag, no longer concerned about speed or accuracy. The blows landed hard and furious.

  CHAPTER 17

  Everyody Knows

  Eric and Adam Li stood near a bench during morning break. Adam also trained at Chen MMA. He was on the school’s wrestling team.

  Adam was competing in the county tournament too. He was a welterweight. The boys were practicing various moves. Crosses. Elbows. Spinning backfists. They were doing it half speed. Neither of them wanted to get hurt.

  “Why don’t you two homos just make out,” Lance said. He was sitting on the bench next to Liam.

  “You guys ever like, make out?” Liam asked. “When you roll all alone?”

  “Dudes, you should talk.” Adam smiled. “You fags play football. You’re always grabbing each other’s butts.”

  “True,” Eric said. “Who knows what goes on in the pileup.”

  “We’re going after the ball, idiot,” Lance said.

  “I’ll bet you’re going for balls,” Adam snapped.

  Everyone laughed.

  Dan walked past them. He was about 15 feet away. Eric made eye contact. Dan started to smile. Eric looked away. The last thing he wanted to do was talk to Dan. Not then. He couldn’t talk to him in front of those guys.

  “Looks like somebody has a friend,” Lance said with a smirk.

  “Yeah, right,” Eric joked. He hoped the guys wouldn’t say more.

  “You might have to wrestle that guy,” Adam said.

  Eric looked at him. He felt blindsided.

  “What?” Lance said. “You’ll kill that queen.”

  “You’d better kill him,” Liam said. “That dude is no guy, remember? He’s ‘transitioning.’ I’ll disown you as a friend if you don’t.”

  “There’s an MMA tournament,” Adam said. “All the centers are competing. He trains in Dekker. I have a friend who trains there too. We were going over the match list. Eric and that guy are in the same weight class. My friend says he’s actually pretty good.”

  “Not good enough to beat Eric,” Liam said.

  “Totally.” Lance stood up with his hand in the air. “My boy’s going to stomp Dekker. He’s in it to win it!”